Friday, April 28, 2006

Houdini?

Picture this. You are exhausted and skip Without A Trace and opt for an early retirement for the day. You take the dogs out for the final potty of the night and get everyone tucked away into their respective crates and beds. Three hours later you are awakened by the incessant whining/barking/begging/grumbling of the 6 month old puppy who has decided he needs to potty again. You nudge Husband. "Wha?" Nudge again, "Take the dogs out." "Ok." You fall back into a silent ear plug enforced sleep. He rolls out of bed and dresses. The three of them trudge to the back door and he releases the beasts into the dark abyss of the back yard. Five minutes later after 3 potties, they return and again are tucked into their crates and beds.

A few minutes later the ear piercing whine of the puppy (which words cannot describe) pierces thru your 32 dB earplugs. Nudge, "Did you take the dogs out!?" "Wha?" "DID YOU TAKE THE DOGS OUT?!" "Yeah" "Take him again, he still needs to go." "Sigh, ok." You again fall back into sleep as Husband rolls out of bed and takes puppy back outside on the leash this time for a potty. They return again and settle back in.

A few minutes later you are AGAIN awakened by the whine! "WHAT is his problem! I am exhausted and need my rest!", you yell. "Take him to the crate in the dining room!", you growl at husband. He sighs, gets up, and brings puppy to the dining room crate on the other side of the house. At least you won't be able to hear him as he whines for the rest of the night. Husband returns and you all settle into a nice rest.

Thirty minutes later, big dog starts barking! "Book, shut up! Go to bed." you shout. "Bark! Bark! BARK!" as he runs around the bed and touches the empty puppy crate. "Bark! Bark! Bark!" back to the empty puppy crate. Nudge, nudge. "Do you hear that barking?!" "Yes." "What are you going to do about it!?" "Sigh." Husband gets up and takes big dog out to potty - again. As he rounds the corner to the kitchen, he finds puppy standing at the gate waiting for him. He enters the kitchen and turns into the dining room to find the big dog crate (heavy, metal design with 2 locks on each door) in the middle of the room (4 feet from its normal resting place), locked. Puppy trots behind him with delight. White hair inside the crate prove he was inside at one time this night, however, he no longer is - and it is still standing and locked.

Puppy is Houdini, Big Dog is a tattle, Husband is exhausted, irritated, and perplexed. All three return to the room and tuck back into crates and beds. Puppy continues to whine. You rise, grumble something about needing to sleep because you have to clean the whole house for guests in the morning and storm off to the spare bedroom on the other side of the house. Husband can sleep thru the whining and does so. You sleep in the silence of the spare bedroom. All is well, except now you need to go get tiny padlocks for all the connecting areas of the crate to prevent future escapes.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Since when is stalking romantic?

We watched the newish movie The Phantom of the Opera the other night. I have had the 2-disk cd from the musical for years and years (over 15, I was in high school when I got it). I have sang (sung?) along with the songs - loudly at times - and enjoyed the music very much. I have to admit, I had never actually seen the stage (or other movie) versions of the soundtrack and I apparently lost a bit of the plot by neglecting this aspect of it.

I never really thought of the whole thing necessarily as romantic, but I do know many people who do. The whole time we were watching the movie I was 1) being nagged by CK to not quote line-by-line the entire film (Please, that is the pot calling the kettle black), 2) being told to knock it off when I pointed out the parts in the film that were slightly different from the stage soundtrack, and 3) APPALLED by the fact that the Phantom was a raging lunatic and yet Christine kept going back to him as if he were Casanova. Come on! Was she stupid? Is this some form of Stockholm Syndrome?

Even if she thought for a while that this might have even been her father (in the flesh or reincarnated, whichever), the fact that when he KIDNAPPED her and she saw that he 1) lived in the sewers, 2) had a wax figure of her in a wedding outfit; should have clued her in to the fact that he was a hair off balance.

After the kidnapping, a normal person probably would have gotten the heck out of that theater/town and found a new place to live/work. No, no. She stays and seems surprised when he stalks her further and hangs someone during a performance. Time to run now? I think not. Let's stick around and see just how much worse it can get.

To top it all off, the woman who took in first the lunatic boy who killed someone when he was not even a teen yet and then took in Christine when she was 7 and orphaned, knew all along that this nutso pedophile was stalking Christine since she was 7. And did nothing about it. I guess it was all worth it since he was teaching her how to sing while he STALKED her.

Anyway, I will end my rant here. I could continue into Act 2, but it isn't worth the effort. We all know how it ends. Stalker kidnaps her again, fiancé follows, stalker ties up fiancé and starts to kill him (all while they are all three singing...), chick must choose, she chooses stalker so fiancé can live a miserable life knowing that she is being raped and abused by some lunatic while he cannot do anything about it (better than death? I'm not sure.), lunatic grows a small conscience for a few moments and lets girl and fiancé go, girl still feels attachment towards stalker, girl finally leaves with fiancé, stalker disappears into his lair in the sewers, lynch mob comes for stalker - but does not find him, all is well.

The one thing added in the movie was that it appeared Christine and Raul got married (?) and had a lifetime together. When Raul went to put the creepy lot 665 monkey at her grave, he saw a rose with a ring and a black ribbon lying on the grave. So the stalker was STILL STALKING HER AFTER HER DEATH! And this obsession is apparently romantic. Hmmm. Ok, if you say so.

(I'll still listen to the soundtrack and sing along, but I am going to pretend to still be in my ignorant bliss of not really listening to the words of the songs.)


Thursday, April 20, 2006

Am I environmentally friendly?

Or just cheap? Last night I mowed our lawn - well, at least about 1/6th of it. We just bought a house and have an actual yard to take care of all of a sudden. We only have a push mower because that is all we needed for our 12x12 (144 square foot) patch of grass at our old house. Now we have about 2500 square feet of yard to mow!

Boo hoo, you think. They have a push mower and are whining because they want a riding mower. The catch is, we have a PUSH mower. With the blade. And no gas. And no electrical moving parts. Just the spinning blades.

While mowing (which was actually quite relaxing and not that hard to do) I thought to myself, "Self, you really could be helping the environment by not using a gas powered mower. And, Self, you are probably saving a TON of money because you don't need to buy gas. Self, you can mow even on Ozone Alert days!"

So, are we cheap/poor or eco-friendly? I have decided on eco-friendly. Maybe I'll shed a few pounds and get a little tan. :) If I had $2500 would I buy a push mower? Maybe, maybe not. I might rather have a wide screen plasma tv...

Happy Spring!